*SMACK*
Thats what.
Allow me clarify a few things before I get into what happened recently at the bodega. I deplore violence. Nothing good ever comes from it. I personally feel that anything….well, almost anything……can be talked out without it ever having it escalating to the point of physical confrontation.
In my younger years, I was a hot [...]
Posts Tagged ‘comedy’
What did the 5 fingers say to the face?
Posted in comedy, work, tagged Allah, baby Jesus, Bodega, business, comedy, customers, God, Jehovah, life, MD 20/20, rick james, Rodney Dangerfield, Shoplifter, smack, store, supermarket, thief, thieves, wine, WWE on February 12, 2010 | 2 Comments »
“Everybody….Homie is back here taking a shi……!!”
Posted in comedy, life, work, tagged Bodega, comedy, do not distrub, FML, funny, go away, life, manners, privacy, sign, toilet on January 28, 2010 | 7 Comments »
*Sigh*
Never thought I would see this day come. Not in a million years. I never thought that one would have to resort to posting such a crude sign on the bathroom door JUST so I wouldn’t be disturbed when I’m “chunking a duece”…..”sending a fax”…….”sitting on the throne”…..”hablando con Mistoyca (Mistoycagando, that is)”.
But thats [...]
“Stop Running in the Store, Please!”
Posted in comedy, work, tagged comedy, kids, laugh, life, maniacs, mom, Mr.Softee, parenting, public, Rosemarys baby, run, storytelling, supermarket, tempur tantrums, terrorist, track and field on November 19, 2009 | 5 Comments »
Why cant parents control their kids in public?
Why is it that I ALWAYS have to tell some lil snot nosed, dirty ass kid to stop running in my store, while the parents just stand there and do nothing? They wont tell them to stop running around like crack induced maniacs, but they will get offended when I tell the little terrorist to “take that shit outside”….. In those exact words.
How the Bodega has forced me to lower my standards
Posted in comedy, life, work, tagged Bodega, comedy, Drunk, Fish, Girls, Island, kids, life, Pretty, relationships, South Beach, Titanic, WIC, women on November 12, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Im not the prettiest dude in the world.
Well, actually, Im lying…..Im a pretty mofo.
Ive never really had problems picking up girls. To be honest, I attribute it to my confidence and wit. I do well with people, especially in a group. I tend to stand out, because, well, Im silly. Im not scared to crack [...]
Arranca y Vete!
Posted in comedy, random, work, tagged adderall, adhd, Bodega, Bon ton, cocktail, comedy, Communist, corn chips, crack kills, crazy, get out, life, marriage, Mikhail Gorbachev, Old man, ritalin, SAP, spanish, women on November 5, 2009 | 13 Comments »
So Sha’ul and I are having our usual morning conversation about Central Americans doing pirouettes, music and which one of my butchers is the bigger douche bag, when in comes this short, old, Mikhail Gorbachev looking Cuban.
He apparently forgot to take his
Pig grease and designer jeans.
Posted in random, work, tagged Bodega, Bruno Magli, coffee, comedy, Family guy, fashion, Herbert, jordans, life, Metrosexual, pervert, pig, porky pig, Sazon Goya, store, wardrobe, work on October 27, 2009 | 5 Comments »
Every morning, as Im sipping on my cup o coffee, and looking through my closet, I find myself in the same dilemma. What the f*@k do I wear to work?!?!
I know youre probably thinking: “Listen to this ol Metrosexual ass mofo whining about what to wear”.
Let me explain why its such a pain to decide [...]
